His Eyes Look Like Home
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
A young woman lays on her bed, talking nostalgically and venting to her friend about a past love.
"I have that feeling where you feel like you can't escape, both your body and physical world. Like I need to get out of here. Now.
(long pause)
I miss him so so so much. I feel like I'm going insane. I miss him. I still love him. And obviously he doesn't want me back, and I don't want him as he was. But I've changed so much this year for the better. I don't feel the same. I don't feel bitter or negative. I want him to know me like this.
I wonder if he's changed. But from the last I heard from him in early summer, he was totally wrapped up in his work. So I'm just missing him and the person I hoped he would be, but wasn't. I guess that's why I feel nuts right now. Cause I'm missing this illusion that isn't and wasn't reality. Sorry I'm venting. I just think I'm over it and I'm not.
(long pause)
But I have faith that I am being steered in a direction. And have work to do for these next couple months. So I just pray a lot and kind of let it go.
But every now and then I get sucked into the past emotions I felt packing up my stuff and having it moved out of the apartment and just balling and ripping up our photos and all that. And just giving away stuff. But leaving the jewelry he got me and I wonder if he ever looks at it or the gifts I got him or the painting we picked out together. And it was such a traumatic turn for both of us, him too, I know it was hard but he felt it was the right thing for him. And it was.
(starts crying)
But of course my mind goes to who's sleeping next to him in bed, in my bed. And is he with someone else. And deep down I think we will get back together, but I also am trying to move on so that I don't hold this delusion in my heart if it isn't true. But that kind of trauma haunts me. And I'm sure you feel that too.
(pulls it together)
I guess I just have this homesick feeling. Cause I haven't had a home in a year really. And when I go to LA I will have a different foreign apartment and not my home cause my home was with him, he was my home. That's just where this feeling is coming from. Like I want to go home, but it isn't there.
So I just pray and let it be. I'm so thankful for this past year, and when I really look at everything that's happened, I feel blessed, so very blessed and grateful. So grateful for the friends I have and love. And love means so much when you accomplish what you want. I just think of last year, I was happy in love and not happy everywhere else, and it just flipped, just like that. But now I'm a better person, and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that I got to grow into this person, this really kind, happy person that sort of, found the light. Cause some people get sucked into a spiral, but I made it out and that feeling alone washes over me like a great wave, and when I really feel that wave, I feel warmth and his embrace. I feel a positive wave of sunshine, knowing that when we meet again, if we meet again-- we inevitably will meet again, I'll just have a lot to give."
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
A young woman lays on her bed, talking nostalgically and venting to her friend about a past love.
"I have that feeling where you feel like you can't escape, both your body and physical world. Like I need to get out of here. Now.
(long pause)
I miss him so so so much. I feel like I'm going insane. I miss him. I still love him. And obviously he doesn't want me back, and I don't want him as he was. But I've changed so much this year for the better. I don't feel the same. I don't feel bitter or negative. I want him to know me like this.
I wonder if he's changed. But from the last I heard from him in early summer, he was totally wrapped up in his work. So I'm just missing him and the person I hoped he would be, but wasn't. I guess that's why I feel nuts right now. Cause I'm missing this illusion that isn't and wasn't reality. Sorry I'm venting. I just think I'm over it and I'm not.
(long pause)
But I have faith that I am being steered in a direction. And have work to do for these next couple months. So I just pray a lot and kind of let it go.
But every now and then I get sucked into the past emotions I felt packing up my stuff and having it moved out of the apartment and just balling and ripping up our photos and all that. And just giving away stuff. But leaving the jewelry he got me and I wonder if he ever looks at it or the gifts I got him or the painting we picked out together. And it was such a traumatic turn for both of us, him too, I know it was hard but he felt it was the right thing for him. And it was.
(starts crying)
But of course my mind goes to who's sleeping next to him in bed, in my bed. And is he with someone else. And deep down I think we will get back together, but I also am trying to move on so that I don't hold this delusion in my heart if it isn't true. But that kind of trauma haunts me. And I'm sure you feel that too.
(pulls it together)
I guess I just have this homesick feeling. Cause I haven't had a home in a year really. And when I go to LA I will have a different foreign apartment and not my home cause my home was with him, he was my home. That's just where this feeling is coming from. Like I want to go home, but it isn't there.
So I just pray and let it be. I'm so thankful for this past year, and when I really look at everything that's happened, I feel blessed, so very blessed and grateful. So grateful for the friends I have and love. And love means so much when you accomplish what you want. I just think of last year, I was happy in love and not happy everywhere else, and it just flipped, just like that. But now I'm a better person, and I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful that I got to grow into this person, this really kind, happy person that sort of, found the light. Cause some people get sucked into a spiral, but I made it out and that feeling alone washes over me like a great wave, and when I really feel that wave, I feel warmth and his embrace. I feel a positive wave of sunshine, knowing that when we meet again, if we meet again-- we inevitably will meet again, I'll just have a lot to give."